


Sticky Stuff

by Dee_Laundry



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Domestic, M/M, Really Bad Puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-02
Updated: 2007-04-02
Packaged: 2017-10-17 11:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/176424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dee_Laundry/pseuds/Dee_Laundry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House & Wilson at home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sticky Stuff

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Daisylily](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Daisylily).



> [](http://daisylily.livejournal.com/profile)[**daisylily**](http://daisylily.livejournal.com/) stumped me with _Wondering about that occupied a few minutes, but then my attention wandered._ (Why Dr. House Cancelled Poker Night). Her prompt was the single word 'honey.'

House!

You bellowed?

Can you please tell me why there are _ants_ in the hamper?

A couple of ants here and there are no big deal. No need to take them as a reflection on your cleaning skills, sweetie.

I agree; I don’t; _you’re_ supposed to keep the bedroom clean; I hate it when you call me that; and a conservative estimate of the number of ants in the hamper would be one thousand.

*ticking on fingers*

WHY THE HELL ARE THERE ANTS IN OUR LAUNDRY?

Oh, that. It’s your fault.

MY FAULT?

You got home late yesterday.

Yes, I did. What does that have to do with the ants?

You neglected me.

Anderson’s wife went into pre-term labor just as he was about to do an emergency biopsy on his patient. I had to take over the biopsy so he could go. All of which I told you when I got home, but you were too busy snubbing me to listen.

You didn’t even call.

Emergency biopsy, House; no ability to call. Besides which, you’re a grown man who can ostensibly take care of himself, _and_ you regularly come home late for no reason other than you feel like it.

And you’re always on time, so I had a surprise all set up for you. When you didn’t come home, I might have been somewhat miffed and put my pants back on without cleaning up.

And then later threw said pants in the hamper to attract ants. I knew when you took that shower right before bed that something was up. So what was it?

Honey.

You walked around the whole night with honey in your pants?

It was squishy and sticky and quite fun. You missed out, let me tell you.

Hmph.

I didn’t think about it attracting bugs. I probably should have thrown the jeans in the washer for you.

Well, it’s not _that_ big a deal. So, you got anything in your pants for me now?

Just a hot dog, plain. But you can add some mustard if you like.

With relish.


End file.
